Bus Bus Bus

Thursday already – where has the week gone? March already – where is the year going?

We are approaching 25 % of year consumed and I feel like I only just got out of bed. If this year was a movie, there would be a white needle on a dial, wavering dangerously close to the red zone and a Scottish engineer warning the Captain that, ‘She is not gonna take it. This 2016 model was just not built for this kinda speed – I’ll try, but she is gonna burn up.’

I know time is relative and my knee has been hurting for ages and it needs to bloody well get over itself, but time is like ketchup and seems to have a sort of retrospective quality as well so in the present, it passes in great glops with slow bits in between, but then when you look back it is just pouring out and is all over your chips. When I was younger this didn’t seem to happen, except the start of the summer holidays seemed to offer an undending promise of freedom and school terms dragged like whole lifetimes. Now I can’t seem to get a handle on time at all.

The weather is starting to cool as well and we have one of Australia’s micro seasons on the way. I say Australia, but I could just mean Western Australia, because as far as I know the other side of the country has proper length seasons. Just like they have vegetables that are reaonably priced – don’t get me started on the price of leeks over here, and why? They grow in sand and this place is like 98% desert.

Yes, time to pin our eyes open for autumn, quite the nicest time of year in WA. It is a bit like mid-summer in England, but without all the rain and humidity. The days don’t get hugely longer in summer over here,  but it is lighter earlier, and that continues through Autumn, it is just that you don’t wake up from nights of broken sleep in a pool of your own sweat. There are breezes, as opposed to no breeze, or gusts of hot wind as if you are standing in front of a blast furnace. I like Autumn, it is just a pity that it only lasts about a fortnight.

The WA calendar is such that they like to get all their public holidays out of the way nice and early, which has an alarming effect on the speed at which you travel through the first six months of the year. We are about to hit our third public holiday for 2016 and we will just be over that when Easter will  be upon us as it is very early this year. I probably have not helped matters by taking two weeks off in February, but neither has my team as one of them was off last week and the other is off for a week now.

Just to make things interesting, during this busier time at work, I have stuck my nose into someone else’s business and offered to lend a hand, which basically involves me taking over their gig. I am not sure how this has happened, again, but I suspect it is me who is the serial offender. I take an interest, then before I know it I have done a bit of research and am sticking my head into people’s offices and cubicles for a chat. Then Ben Hur rides through in a chariot I have arranged and we all go home exhausted.

I can’t even seem to get a handle on time during the day at the moment. I get up and basically have a two hour window to get the dogs walked and out of the house. I do vary the routine, but it never seems to get any easier. For example, at the moment I am driving the dogs to the park instead of walking them down. In theory, this should give me a spare 30 minutes, but there is some weird law of time physics that means other stuff gets sucked into the vacuum created by the car being quicker than my feet, and when I check the clock, sure enough, it is nearly eight o clock and I am running late again. Both yesterday and today I managed to time my departure so that at what should have been five minutes away from work, I got stuck behind two buses, which took turns stopping and building up a longer and longer queue of traffic behind them. I sat in my car, chanting, ‘Bus bus, Bus bus,’ to try and calm myself with a sort of traffic mantra. But it backfired. Busses must work like Beetlejuice, because this morning there were three- one behind the other: ‘Bus bus bus’, I chanted, like a crazed Yogi, ‘Bus bus bus.’ It didn’t help – and now tomorrow there will be four. But however many buses there are, and no matter how late they make me, I can almost guarantee that I will blink and it will be July, because that is the way time is going at the moment.

Wow …is that the time already? I should be getting into my PJs. Goodnight.


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