You know you may be running low on motivation when you are asked to leave a 10 second message on somone’s phone and sing, ‘Ba Boobidy bayup bah bah, Ba Boobidy bayup bah bah, Ba Boobidy bayup bah bah, bah bah bah, beep beep!’ Instead.
My colleague looked at me and asked what I was up to. The person I had rung, rang me back and asked why the message I had left ‘could not be converted into text’ and yet it did nothing to make me feel any less miserable.
I have hit a wall. I actually have things that I need to be getting on with now, but boredom has rendered me almost immobile. Right now, making a phone call, or sending an email feels like it is actually costing me physical effort. I have papers to draft, stuff to get done and yet I just can’t seem to muster the will. Perhaps it is because it is the four hundredth time I have done this – or feels like it – and I just wish I could do something that feels more productive.
Like my knee. I feel my knee will be the ultimate victim in all this. I went to see my specialist the other day and we had a good chat. I told him that while the cortisone injection had not made a noticeable difference, the removal of the fluid before the injection had. At the time, I assumed that another injection would be out of the question so was really interested in whether I could get another session to drain the knee, but he said that no, another cortisone injection would be OK.
In October I have to go to an event and walk a lot. All day, every day for around five days. I can feel the fluid is back in my knee, and asked if there was anything else that I could consider for treatment. Ages ago, I was at a physio and they put a little machine on my knee that felt like a cat purring up my muscles. Was that snake oil? Or did it actually do any good? He responded by saying that for some people it did seem to do good, even though technically it was snake oil.
He ended up giving me two referrals: one for more cortisone and the other for a product called Synvisc, which creates a cushion in joints suffering from osteo-arthritis. We talked about maybe leaving the cortisone until September, so I can hit October up and running, but now I am left wondering if perhaps that is not the best idea. Maybe what I should do is to slam the knee with another aspiration/cortisone treatment before the arthritis gets back up to speed, and then see how we are going and perhaps hit it again in October.
This means I will probably not be able to have another one after October, but Xmas is a lot of driving around and I am off work, so I can be selective in the stress I put on my knee joint and swim more. Christmas shopping will have to be online.
The idea of hiring Segways for the October trip and both myself and my colleague (who has a bad tendon in her heel) sailing around like mad people is, of course, infinitely appealing, and we hold on to that like a faint hope.