Captain America: Civil Bore 

It must be hard being Steve Rogers. Tony Stark is a fast-talking, mega-rich, ultra-intelligent playboy. Natasha Romanoff is a sexy but lethal assassin and Bruce Banner turns big and green. Meanwhile, the Cap is wholesome and blonde and straight and God fearing.

He has a nice latex suit and a very handy shield but I always feel a little sorry for Chris Evans, who plays Captain America, because he is pretty damn straight and to be fair to Chris Evans, he manages to carve some dimensions into this goody two shoes persona. Usually he can do this by careful positioning of his character with others so there is a little room for banter, but when the writers send the characters off all that is left is narrative – and lots of it.

I watched Captain America: Civil War with hopes that were maybe unrealistically too high, given that I did not make it through The Winter Soldier. Basically the film is set up following a problem when a bunch of superheroes arrive to try and save the day and cause a lot of collateral damage while they are doing it, causing the government to get involved and demand some oversight.

That how The Incredibles starts, isn’t it? Except in the Incredibles we meet a bunch of characters as the story progresses and there are a few laughs along the way.

I can almost imagine the pitch for this one – the excitement of the massive twist, which is that while you might expect Cap to go with the government and IronMan to go all maverick, it is in fact the Captian that runs off, leaving Tony to toe the line. What an amazing idea, right guys? Right? Guys…?

No. Not an amazing idea, because Tony Stark is no fun when he is behaving and the Captain is not a very good rebel. So what we get is: plot.. plot.. plot.. TONY VS STEVE, Plot.. plot… Plot.. TONY AND SOME FRIENDS VS STEVE AND SOME FRIENDS. Plot… Plot… Plot… MORE FRIENDS OF TONY AND STEVE TURN UP WITH TONY AND STEVE TO BREAK BUILDINGS AND LARGE VEHICLES.

There is another guy, some dude who was in the other film, who is OK until a shadowy figure starts listing objects: rust, broccoli, screwdriver, potato … Then he goes nuts. I think this was part of the story but I could not really figure out why, because by now I was finding it hard to stay interested and knew that no matter what was going to happen, it was just going to end up in another fight between Ironman and Captain America.

It seems to be the case with all the Captain America films; there is a lot of plot that does not seem to advance the film much so the film just goes on and on and on.

I like the Avengers, and I like the characters in the film. This one had Ant Man in it for god’s sake but even the tiny warrior failed to keep me engaged. Captian America: Civil Yawn.

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