The Levels 

My nephew is now just over three weeks old and like many babies who have gone before him, has managed to make his new parents’ lives quite busy. Getting themselves and him into a routine is tricky when he does not even know what a routine is yet and is probably still acclimatising to his new environment.

I asked my brother how things were going a couple of weeks ago and he quite upbeat in his response, although he did mention that the baby had been really grizzly yesterday, describing it as, ‘Mr Hyde level.’ I am sure this won’t be the only level that he will hit so I have done some thinking about other indicators that could be used to in case of baby.

HEAVY METAL level – makes a lot of noise for no reason.

JACK NICHOLSON level – smiling, but you really don’t trust him.

PYTHON level – just wants to sleep and eat.

ENGLISH WEATHER level – not ideal, but gives you a conversation starter when in company.

APPLE level – apparently needs constant changing but you can’t work out why.

GILLARD -RUDD level – you think he wants a cuddle but then is sick down your back.

I am not about to compare my dogs to a new baby, but – well actually I am – it is tricky when they can’t talk and tell you what is wrong. I took both my dogs to the vet today for their annual check up. I mentioned Lucy had been behaving oddly – she went outside this morning and slept on her own, something she never does when she can hang with a pack – but he could find nothing obviously wrong with her. I am beginning to think it is my phones and iPad, all of which are synced to all my email accounts so ping and buzz constantly. It may well be that adding a third device has sent her over the edge.

Archie has now decided, at some point in the year since it last happened to him, that he does not like having his temperature taken. To be fair, I don’t think I would particularly enjoy it either, given the method that is used for dogs. He took violent exception to being probed, and needed no language at all to make his feelings on the topic well known.

Happily both dogs now have a clean bill of health and I got the good news last night that I had passed the first assignment. As it happens, I was right to be concerned about the bit I had left out as it did cost me a few marks, but as I was still a pretty comfortable pass on this one, I do not mind.

Now I have to get my head together and some reading done for the second assignment, which is twice the length but infinitely broader in scope. I wish I had more time to read but am now running out and probably need to start closing down my options: NIKE level – just do it.

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