Mean Streets 

We are wearing Hi Vis vests
Wearing yellow on our chests
Because we’re safety men, yeah we are safety men.
We are riding two abreast
Each in a yellow Hi Vis vest
Because we’re safety men, yeah safety men
It don’t matter who we meet
We’re not riding in the street
Because we’re safety men, yeah we are safety men.
Each on the pavement on his bike
Riding faster than folk like
Coz we are safety men, yeah safety men.
There’s a woman in our way
But we ain’t gonna sway
Because we’re safety men, yeah safety men.
Two dogs by her side
She won’t interrupt our ride
Coz we’re safety men, yeah safety men
We’ve got helmets on our head
Playing chicken now instead
Of being safety men.

It is rough sometimes living on the streets of my town. Earlier this week, I was walking my two dogs home on the pavement, you know like a normal person when two grown men approached me on bikes. On road bikes, which they were riding on the pavement, side by side. As if that was not bad enough, there was a cycle path on the road right next to them. Despite the fact that they had plenty of time to see me and move to single file, or slow down, or move into the road, they chose to do none of this and rode straight at me at speed, so I had to drag my dogs off the paving and onto the verge.

For once, I let Archie have his full say on the matter and let him bark at them until they were around the corner. Not a good idea, I know, in terms of his training, but the cyclists were moving so fast it was a matter of seconds before they were gone, no doubt feeling very pleased with themselves at having drive me out of their way. Dicks.

Today it was just a matter of me versus the road – and the road won. I had gone into town early in the morning to get some Xmas shopping down and was feeling very pleased with myself as I got in there before the rest of the world. I had two shops to hit, but as neither had what I wanted it threw my confident stride completely and I started circling the mall like Archie when he knows he buried a bone in a certain spot, but can’t work out why it is gone because he does not realise we have taken it while he is not looking.

In the end I did manage to get stuff bought – including my mum and dad’s present to me, which was a total surprise as I went in to buy one model of sunglasses and ended up with a completely different one.  I hopped back on the train, pleased that my knee had withstood all the walking and that I had managed to chip another few items off my list of things to get

It was starting to get hot when I got back to my station and decided to cross the road at the first patch of shade where there was a median strip in the road. As I crossed over the second section, as if in slow motion I felt my left ankle twist and my foot turn under itself as I hit the slope of the stupid excuse for a speed bump that the stupid council had put in last year at the end of the tax year to use up some of their money. They obviously didn’t have enough to finish the job and paint the edge of it so it stood out from the road. With my hands full of bags, I realised that I was going to fall down, but not quickly enough to prevent my bad knee fro smacking into the Tarmac.

There was pain, a lot of pain and then the realization that I was in the road and needed to get up before the next car came around the corner, and then the realisation that I was in front of all the shops and at least some of them would have seen me collapsing like a drunk infront of them.

I checked I had all my shopping and then limped up the road. Actually, as I walked the pain receded as the swelling kicked in, which was one small mercy. I can not believe as a grown woman that I fell over like a twelve year old, but then I could not believe it at almost exactly this time last year, that I dropped a brick on my foot.

Maybe I will stick to the car from now one. These streets are too mean for me.


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