It has been a long time between drinks, as they say, but today I drank deep at the well and the result is that I am practically falling asleep on my feet.

Other than an enforced drop-out when I was in Melbourne during the first week of October, I can honestly say that I have behaved myself very well. Since August, I have shunned bread, forgone potatoes, ignored ice-cream and turned away from all sweets. I have refuted the weekly morning teas that have literally taken place four feet from my desk and other than the teaspoon of sugar that I take in my tea, removed all refined and almost all unrefined carbs from my diet.

Tonight I was due to go over to dinner with the family and it was a big one – a cheese fondue. This had started many years ago as a 70s night, where we drank snowballs, ate prawn cocktails for entree (avocado and vinegarette for me), cheese fondue for main and then, if we could, chocolate mousse for dessert. We dressed up and listened to Abba and Boney M and stopped just short of renovating the bathroom in a lurid blancmange pink colour in our quest to enjoy the nostalgia of our youth.

We have lost a couple of items over the years, but the music, the entree and the humongous main course have stayed the test of time and they were featuring big time tonight.

I had started my day with a walk with the dogs and then decided to go for a swim. It has been a while since I have been to the pool, but I was hot and also hoped that thrashing about in water might soothe the pain in my ankle and knee a little. I popped in to my parents’ place to try and get a glimpse of my nephew, who has been proving quite tricky to meet, as he does not really do evenings. He was awake alright and seemed to recognise me, immediately switching from a happy, contented baby on his playmat to an inconsolable bundle of misery the second I picked him up. Ah the magic touch – I haven’t lost it; used to do the same thing to his father.

I got home and needed a bit of Christmas, so emboldened by the ton of cheese I knew was coming my way later that day, I invoked another Xmas tradition and opened the tin of Quality Steet chocolates I bought a month ago. If I thought I would be able to stop at one I was wrong and eventually had to hide the tin from myself before I finished the lot. I thought perhaps my sweet tooth may have been magically reset through drought, but it has just been there, lying in waiting for the moment it knew would eventually come.

I managed to stay out of any more trouble before I got to dinner, but once the fondue appeared, I was back into it. I love cheese fondue and as we only eat it once a year it feels perfectly justified diving into it. I had wondered whether to try and substitute the bread for something else, but honestly what would have been the point? There are about 100, 000 calories bobbing about in a cheese fondue, what difference was 300 calories of bread on top of that honestly going to make?

I comforted myself as I helped myself to a portion of trifle for dessert, that I had at least been doing a lot more exercise in the last few days – not at the gym, but just walking around shopping, rather than sitting at my desk gazing at the Internet. I may have overdone it a little, though. We use to have a girl in our group of friends at school whose nickname was ‘Python’ because all she seemed to do was sleep and eat. I feel like a python at the moment. I have a very full belly and I am ready to climb into my pit and sleep it off. It is just as well I had that swim – must have burned at least 70 calories doing that today.

Tomorrow I shall attempt to get back on the straight and narrow, but as a movie visit is on the cards, only time will tell if I manage to dodge the popcorn. These carbs are everywhere, man and they show no mercy.



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