I am waiting for my husband and he is late. This is annoying because we have tickets to go and see a show and he promised me he would be home by now but he is not because he is squeezing, Squeezing is a term I coined some time ago to describe a particular behaviour that my husband does, so that I could describe it with a relatively inane word rather than expletives.
My husband, like, I suspect, many men of his age, is a creature of habit. He likes to do the same things at the same time every day. He finds his routines soothing, comforting. They provide stability and security in a word which I render chaotic by my random and varied approach. The more chaotic I get, the more he adheres to his routines, but it is also perversely true that if I attempt to superimpose a routine or a control of my own upon his, then he counters with more fevervent adherance.
Usually if we go into town for an event, we go by train. This is so that we can have a drink and not have to get cabs – which my husband hates unless it is his idea to get one. I do not mind travelling by train at all and I do not mind the outward journey either, but the return one, later at night with any number of alcohol-affected people sharing the carriages is one I do not enjoy. I would rather pay for the cab and have a peaceful ride home.
Tonight, I have decided to drive because I am not drinking at the moment and there is a large carpark under the theatre where we will be. We can drive in, park, buy a pre paid ticket so we do not have to queue after the show to pay and then come home without a row about cabs or a journey with an angry drunk person.
My husband usually goes out in the evening for a couple of pints, but instead of staying home after work, maybe having a nap because he started early and relaxing into the evening, he has elected to go out anyway to try and fit his normal night out into two hours on top of going out later. He is squeezing.
I find this behaviour perplexing but it seems to make perfect sense to him and as long as he can manage it it is fine, but it will make him tired and it is already making us late, because he is already half an hour later coming home than he told me he would be, which has put me in a bad mood.
Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to have a sort of mood shower that you could go through coming into or out of the house, so that you could wash away all the tensions that you bring from work and feel totally free as you cross the threshold? And to have one for the way out as well, so that if you are left feeling tense while at home, you could just shake it off on the way out.
My husband has returned while I have been typing this. He has ironed a shirt and will be ready in a few minutes. He is very good at a quick turn around, I guess from many years’ practice at squeezing. If I do not post this I will be the one running late, so I will post and close my eyes for just a second on my way out to the car, as I visualize walking through a mood shower. Wish me luck.