Feeling Stupid 

I had a little bit of a technical mishap. It was not my fault exactly.

Having taken the time to try and do more scribbling this evening, and depriving myself of writing time by visiting the shops in search of yet more gifts for my mother’s birthday on the weekend, I found myself staring at the clock and from there to the back of my husband, who was still not in bed.

He hates it when I tell him it is his bedtime, but equally I feel as though he has robbed me of an hour everytime he stays up late. I still feel the need to grab some time after he is gone so I end up knackered and grumpy because I have stayed up too late.

And, by the way, if I am sounding unreasonable just let me point out that he is also unhappy when I ‘invade’ the bedroom before he gets a chance to go to bed and get to sleep, which I am about to do if carries on hanging around talking to the dog for much longer.

So I was late to start the blog, and sat in my PJs hunched over the coffee table with Lucy sitting behind my as I began to type the title. I was thinking of something along the line of ‘The Smell of Fear’ as I was going to talk about how my enthusiasm to share creative tips I am picking up from my latest podcast find is causing my work colleagues to try to avoid eye contact with me.

This morning’s experiment was getting them to state what they thought might come next in a sequence.

If A B C is followed by D, then what comes next after X Y Z?

There is no correct answer, but there is one popular one. The point of the exercise is that no matter how mundane and ‘obvious’ you think your idea is, there will be someone who thinks that is amazing, because their ‘obvious’ answer was different.

The problem is that the Messenger App that has a sound alert which is either on or off and Lucy, who as you will remember was sitting behind me, hates the PING it makes. No other electronic sound bothers her, but she is currently trembling as I type because my brother has sent me two messages, both with loud PINGS. Even if I mute the iPad, it PINGS. There is no option to  change the sound it makes to something that does not bother her and if I do not have it on, I will miss messages.

My brother had sent a couple of messages so Lucy was on high alert, but I decided to carry on and type the blog anyway. The title was not good, though, so I deleted it and started to retype it, meaning to call it ‘Feeling the Heat’ or something along those lines. The idea was to edit it again at the end and improve it.

Just as I typed the word ‘Feeling’ my brother sent me two short messages in quick succcession. PING …PING.

This was too much for Lucy, who pushed her heels against me as she panicked to get up and away from the noise. As she did so, she actually pushed me forward ever so slightly and my hand brushed the top right had corner of the screen and tickled the word sitting there. PUBLISH.

As if in slow motion, I watched the little spinning circle work its magic as WordPress scrambled to connect to the internet and publish my masterpiece. My work which comprised a one-word title: FEELING – and a blank page. I imagined a collective sigh of confusion followed by relief from around the globe as those poor followers, who are bombarded daily with 5-600 words, realised that today’s ramble would be significantly shorter.

Or perhaps some may have worried that it was a tiny, plaintive cry for help – that in my creative despair, I sent out a one-word plea to the universe.

But no, it was the dog that kicked me, because of the brother that messaged me. And much as I like the simplicity of a one-word post sitting on the WordPress reader, its message of hope and peace beaming out through the Internet , I can not let it lie.

So here is the updated version. At least now I have the title right.


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